“Cutting My Tag off at the End was the Best Part” “21 and On Tag: It’s more than what it seems”
I couldn’t decide which Title spoke the most for this story…
Ever wondered what it’s like for that person you may walk past with a tag around their ankle?
Well here is my story of when I was convicted. You can even watch the video I created closer to my end date:
I started my visuals the day it was put onto my leg, the night the security company were appointed from the courts to my address, and when I watched them fix the tracking box into a corner of my room.
The three months went by and I wanted to record the two weeks coming up to the date it was coming off. I took a picture everyday from that mark, up until the night before where I thought the same people were coming back to take it off.
I knew I wanted to post it on #tiktok where it would be seen as such a different type of video. The thing I was not expecting, was the amount of traction it caught.
Friday the 13th (true story) was my sentencing at crown court, Leicester. Like all court hearings, they are always long-winded and intense, and this felt like ultimate pressure because I was being told that morning by my barrister “It could go either way”.
I felt like I was going to drop to the floor inside that box at the back of the court room, I felt so isolated and a separated criminal.
The only words I really did hear were “10 months”. Up until that point, everything else that was said by the judge, the prosecution, the clerks, even my own barrister were a blur!
The angels were by my side the whole time, because I walked out of those courts with a suspended sentence of 2 years and a curfew of 3 months that would be tracked with a TAGged ankle monitor. “On TAG”
I waited nearly over a week for this ankle monitor to be installed and fixed to my ankle. In which I only knew as much about it from shows, the news or social media. I didn't really know it all worked, never mind how it would feel.
Even though it was not yet on me or no visit was made to my address from those people, I still did not pass my “curfew” of 9pm — 6am. Nor did stop worrying about the dates and the times. (I’ll explain this later)
On the 23rd of November, that knock on the door to my place after 9pm was them, I didn’t even have to open it to know. Luckily my 3 months will still be months from the 13th from which it was ordered on. The court knew the error in my paperwork was no fault of mine.
As soon as she secured it around my ankle, that’s it, I was imprisoned, luckily just not in jail — in my flat. The box that was fitted was like the eyes and ears if I didn’t stick to my hours. I knew I was going to make sure that did not happen.
For the first few weeks I had gotten used to a heavy ankle and the concept didn’t really bother me until it hit me. Christmas.
The plan, this year was to spend it with my man and his family for not just Christmas day but the week around it. Negativity started: I wouldn’t be able to stay at his, if we kept coming and going back mine so many questions will be asked and suspicions would be raised, my secret would be out. Then, the courts were never going to let me have a night off. It came down to one thought — I was spending Christmas alone.
My boyfriend came through and it was the best Christmas I had ever spent.
The new year came around and since then, there had been so many celebrations and events I had to miss or leave early from without telling anyone the real reason. It became a stressful life and now the thoughts of it ending were so far away. The 2 months (ish) that were left felt like slow motion, everyday was starting to feel the same even though they were very different.
I felt as if I was under this continuous grey cloud and it was adamant it was staying there to make me feel even worse. At the start I thought this would only be physically challenging — getting home on time etc. But the emotion kicked in.
During this time I even had to move to a different flat and you can only imagine the piled up stress going hand in hand with the fact I wanted to give up now more than any other time during this experience.
But that’s exactly what it is, what it was. My experience of when you break the law and get caught.
I was in a new environment now, new flat, new flat mates. The questions of why and what started again. Sometimes I did feel very unique, being a young woman, brown and on TAG. I definitely caught attentions and curious looks in public- in fact, any where I went to be honest.
Honestly, that part felt good in a weird way. People wanting to know MY story so badly is what made me write these piece about it. I know, I’m not an average criminal, not a male on TAG either. I’m 21, a young woman, and Indian. Don’t hear that often, right?
The 2 weeks left were literally around the corner. I wanted to do take a picture everyday towards not just a mental countdown but defiantly a physical one. It was me expressing and encouraging my excitement to this ending.
It was and is a big deal to me. I spiritually related to this situation and saw my next chapter starting as and when it was removed.
The dates were confused by the courts and this was frustrating, all I wanted was the damn thing off. I wanted to be a Free Lady again!
The day before my end date, I was calling my solicitor asking if she was sure?
I had to cut it off myself. That night. Fear ran through me. No, because what if I did it too early or something else goes wrong?
I had to really sit with myself and understand this was “Me setting myself Free”. How more beautiful could that get?
04:00 AM — I cut it off with my scissors and amerced in my own free’d company. I set my environment the way I wanted, connected with GOD and when felt the time was right, I chopped that sh*t off!
